Feeling thoroughly detoxed

Ironic that I choose to spend my second-to-last day in India at the doctors office. I am clocking in to this clinic for a nine hour shift and I am not getting paid! Laying

on a makeshift bed in the office, I stare vacantly two feet in front of me at the desk where

I sat discussing my dosha with Doctor Kumar about two weeks ago. Not sure why he is not at the office today, maybe because they "ran out of rooms." and needed to put me somewhere?(Actually though)

A warm breeze blows in through the barred windows, a garden in

its beginning stages is out front. With my ipod dripping music into my ear and my concentration on breath control, it is peaceful. Not like spa peaceful- I am fully aware that the 2" mattress I lay on is tossed on Dr.K's shelving unit. Not to mention, that I am laying here waiting for my next "moment of cleansing" to occur.

Day Five of my five-day ayurvedic cleanse, the Virechana Day. But I knew what I was in for today. The bullet pionted hand-out clearly states that "-Medicine for purging as decided by the physician is administered after the bath." Well the medicine of his choice was a black paste thicker than peanut butter, tasting rich in sugar (I imagine to disguise the herbal medicine taste.) It was not easy to choke down the half cup of dense paste. For a moment I thought "what am I doing eating some random clump

of said herbal medicine that some lady in a tunic handed to me," but memories of my trusting characteristics in college reminded me that if I am supposed to survive this experience- I will.

The medicine was administered at 10 a.m. and then I was shown to "my room." Nothing happened too quickly after that. My assignment to f

ill out a handwritten chart regarding my "time and nature of stools" seemed easy enough. Although the fact that they gave me an entire page of computer paper for documentation had me a little nervous for the upcoming events.

The swings of dizziness and weakness accompanied by slight nausea have been fully manageable, but after being in this one 10' x 12' room for five hours I am just so bored. For the first time in five weeks I have thought about wanting a drink! (I see why prisoners take to smoking.) I reflect on the past week.

At my initial consultation, Dr.K told me I was a healthy and balanced tri-dosha. I was happily shocked. I was going to this assessment expecting to hear how unhealthy I was, and I was secretly hoping he was going to tell me one trick that was soooo obvious to all ayurveda doctors that would change my life. "pumpkin seeds at midnight" or "eating mangoes in yogurt." Somehow I answered all his questions to be

not only healthy, but balanced. When answering his question of why I have come here (ie. issue, disease, disorder) He suggested a panchakarma cleanse that treats chronic arthritis, liver disorders, and skin affections. My joints are hurting, I have a history with the sauce, and my face has been breaking out ever since I moved to Jackson- I was totally down to experiment!

Day one I showed up expecting nothing. After about a 30 minute wait I am called into the hallway that is almost in the same room as the front desk and the waiting couches. A man pulled up a white plastic yard-chair for me to sit. I take a seat and I am looking into a doorless closet which has been transformed in to a huge alter. Framed images of gods I am not familiar with lean against the white tile walls. Lit candles and incense, strung flowers, and clay bowls containing crushed color powders are some of the ornaments on the alter that I remember, but my mind was shaken as the chanting began.

A man and woman sandwich my seated position chanting in Hindu. To whom I do not know. Probably the chick in the frame, or is that a guy... maybe it is both? Anyway, I don't know what they are praying for; I assume for me so I

joined in by start talking to whoever is listening inside my head. The more energy asking for help the better.

"Hi gods, just adding on to what ever they are chanting about. Thanks for all you help with this whole travel/adventure thing I have going on here... um, if you wanna stick around through the cleanse- I would really appreciate it."

After the chant, they handed me about 3/4 cup of "medicated ghee" (melted clarified butter with herbs in it.) They told me to drink it and to try not to smell or taste it while drinking. huh. Slugged the liquid down and proceeded to the second glass they handed me which was just warm water. I was then sent home.

Day Two was the same as Day One except the amount of ghee was doubled (so gnarly) and it affected my 'ness a little bit more. During these first two days, I was told to eat only warm,freshly cooked foods when I was hungry. What a novel idea, eat only when you are hungry. Of course no alcohol, drugs, caffeine, or sugar. Oh, and only hot water for the entire five days! The first ghee drinking session left me a little high for a bit, while the second day gave more of a sick feeling (I didn't eat that day until 3 or 4

p.m.)

Day Three I showed up ready for a pint of ghee, but they reassured me that the next three days consisted of hot oil massages and steam baths. Oh, so great! Well... a woman who speaks no English showed me to my massage room. I introduced myself and she said her name too. Since the language wasn't there, she had to mock how the paper thong tied together. She left me to myself, but after binding into the panties I felt stuck.

My eyes scanned the room. One wood table was in the room and I knew I should hop on it, but it was cold and felt oily. Of course it was oily- it is a hot oil massage table, but I couldn't stop thinking about who the last pair of butt checks wearing a paper thong belonged to. The pillow was plastic and had a six inch laceration going through it. I flipped it to the other side and quickly flipped it back again. The laceration side seemed less wounded in comparison.

The Indian woman who demoed the thong busted in. "hello" she said slapping the table. I knew that the massage was done by two people and when I asked if it would be done by women I didn't get a clear "yes." Once on the table, I immediately decided to close my eyes and to try to mentally relax myself into a warmer state. After I was chanted over once again, the second person came in. Hot oil and hands were rubbing everywhere. And I mean everywhere. (this blog is rated PG so I will not precede into any more detail) I knew when it was over when I heard "hello" as I was slapped a few times on my leg. Although I managed to enjoy the multi-handed vigorous rub down, I was happy when it was over. I was cold and dripping with oil. My thong was starting to fall apart and the wood table was slip and slide. The second person ended up being a woman, and she walked me over to a wooden box that upon entering the room, I had not noticed . (I had some other things going on in my head at that time I guess.)

She opened the side of the box facing us. She gestured for me to sit on the small seat inside the box which leaves my head coming out of a small hole at the top of the box. She shut the door and the steam begins. Again, the bare butt thing was freaking me out- calm down brit!- but I can't stop thinking about how the heat and the moisture make a breeding ground for bacteria, and if I get an STD from some fake hospital in India I am going to be so pissed (is that word PG?) Plus, my neck really has to strain to stay comfortably above the box and the extra board they added so steam wouldn't escape was almost choking me.

At one point someone came in.(did I forget to mention the wet blindfold until now? It was made out of the same wet cotton as the small pieces swatted on my heart and at the crown of my head) This woman asked if I was finished and if I could be in there longer, somehow in the same sentence. I said "okay" and she said "five more minutes." I guess if someone is really freaking they can say "done" (like a cake in an oven.)

The opening of the box was like pulling off the comforter on cold morning. No, it wasn't, because you want to stay in your bed and I didn't really want to stay in there... maybe like leaving the bathroom after a hot shower. No. I think it is safe to say its not like anything else at all. It is just like getting out of a hot wooden box with a slippery naked body in the hands of two Indian women and not knowing what to possibly expect next.

She handed me a bowl with a green powder and walked me to the bathroom in the room (which on one of the days someone used while I was sitting in my box, pre-blindfold!). She drew the water for me (into the blue plastic bucket.) Single use soap and shampoo are handed over as she showed me through actions that the powder goes on my body first. I am left in a half bath with a pail of water to commence the bath! The shampoo said it would enhance my natural black and shiny hair, which is exciting because the sun has seemed to make me real blonde lately.

After toweling with a towel you might dry your dog off with if you were to own it. I headed to the front desk and they said "see you tomorrow."

You don't make appointments here. They would ask what time I was done with yoga and then say "come sometime after that." My rickshaw driver Appu, on the other hand, was in to making an exact appointment for what time I wanted him to pick me up. He would arrive exactly at 8:15, giving me barely enough time to wash up after yoga. He would drop me off and then two minutes later come in to fill his water jug at the water stand next to the front desk. He would happily wait the two hours it took for the massage days and I would pay him extra for doing so (the wait and the 15 minute drive both ways would cost about $3-$4) He would be sitting in the waiting room talking with anyone available when I returned from a treatment. He would say "sister, you rest. I wait, no problem." and then maybe for a few seconds, speak in a tongue that I don't think anyone knows.

So that brings me back to Day Five. Which started with a hot oil massage and steam, which are both getting longer and hotter. I am much more comfortable with the women who have been helping me with the treatment this past week, and more used to the style in which is it delivered. After my bath, and a second round of the chant that I recognize by now (which I finally asked about and they explained it is to a medicine god, requested their assistance) I am given the black paste and told to swallow it all. One of my helpful chanting ladies rubs my shoulder a little while I am choking down the goo, it helps. I am sent to Dr. K's office with no one but myself for the day. Me and the thoughts carry after five weeks here.

It is a good mental "grand finale" of some sorts. I allow my concluding thoughts on my experience in India to explode on to paper. My new realizations light up the many options for my future. This cleanse was more than the physical session I am going through at Dr. Kumars this week. A mere physical representation of the detoxifying going on in my mind and with my spirit. I have loved coming to Mysore, dusting out all the thoughts that were in my head so long I forgot I could remove them.